WhyQuitThe LawHow to QuitJoel's LibraryFreedomTurkeyvilleCrave CopingPrevent Relapse☰

One of Freedom's banners

WhyQuit Joel's Library Turkeyville The Law

Memorable Freedom Threads

How do you handle being around smokers?

An early Freedom banner mirroring WhyQuit's 3 arms: motivation, education and support
John (Gold) - Oct 05, 2000

Being Around Other Smokers


I'd like to use this thread to pose the following question: How do you mentally or physically handle being around smokers?

A pack bulging from a shirt pocket, a lit cigarette in hand or burning in an ashtray, an open pack within reach, an offer of a smoke and it just happens to be your old brand, or the smell of lingering smoke that fills your nose and begs you to come home, how do you cope? What do you do?

Each of us will find ourselves surrounded by or experiencing circumstances similar to those above. If we share our experiences and ways that each of us has handled these situations, we might learn from each other. As we explore this topic be mindful of your distinctions between: (1) "thinking" about the subject of smoking while being around smokers; (2) "wanting" a cigarette while being around smokers, or (3) experiencing a full-blown "crave" when being around smokers.

Let me start us off. I intentionally avoided being around smokers when I first quit. I just didn't think I could handle it and because of prior relapses, I just didn't want to take the risk. I'd read about triggers and I knew that being around other smokers was one of the times that I actively smoked. Finally, after a couple of weeks into my quit, I grew brave enough to confront my fear.

I'd stayed away from my smoking friends at our after-work pub, as the air was always filled with smoke and it seemed to me that the pub was the highest risk relapse environment that could possibly exist. I knew that my longest prior quit was lost with a beer in hand when I broke the golden rule and thought that I was strong enough to take a few little puffs.

When I walked in the door the smoke hit me like a brick wall. It was bad and I immediately thought about my healing lungs and what I was forcing them to endure so that I could be with friends. Standing there at the bar, surrounded by laughing and story-telling men, it seemed that EVERYONE except me either had a cigarette in hand, at their lips, in an ashtray, or had an open pack beside them. It was the first time in my life that I'd ever noticed that they were almost ALL smokers.

Ashtrays were everywhere. I knew those who smoked my old brand, Vantage, and I allowed myself to intentionally stand beside them. This was my test. My initial inner strength surprised even me. I grew bold but was still thinking about my lungs. It seemed like I was smoking just by being there and I wanted out. But where was my big crave? It wasn't there. I'd worried about it for so long and it never arrived. Had I worried so much about it that I'd worried it dead? And then it happened ....

I made the mistake of telling a Vantage smoking friend (whom I'd bummed from on many prior occasions) that I'd quit smoking. It was almost like he had a bullhorn in his hand as he announced it to the entire pub as he made it sound like I'd just gotten married or something (but more like divorced). The laughs and smiles seemed to say, "Oh sure, and I'm the Pope." Knowing that I was possibly one of the heaviest smokers in the "after work smoking club," their laughter somehow seemed appropriate.

It didn't take long before the offer of a cigarette was thrust into my face. "Take it," I was told. "No thanks," was the reply. This time it was different. I no longer saw my friends as simply social smokers sharing the aroma of fine tobacco while debating the world's problems. For the first time in my life I saw them as nicotine addicts who had yet to go through withdrawal. I saw them as ignoring what they were doing to their bodies. I wondered why I hadn't SERIOUSLY thought about my health long before now.

This day I had intentionally tested my resolve and victory was mine! It was so so sweet. I looked up at the grey cloud above me being struck by sunlight creeping through the blinds and I decided that my lungs had had enough. About 30 minutes had passed before saying my goodbyes and walking out the door. The fresh air welcome me home, like a mother's loving arms.

From that day forward I've never once stood beside a smoker and WANTED, nor did I any longer fear being around them. After a few more similar encounters I decided that I wouldn't go back. I miss those friends that I no longer see or hear from, but I won't ask these healing lungs, that I punished so long, to again endure such insult. The choice was mine.

Oh, I know that I could someday find myself experiencing a high-stress period of life with relapse opportunities surrounding me, but in my mind, I'm preparing NOW for the day that it WILL happen by being here with you and watching all our newbies seek freedom while being constantly reminded of what it took to get here. Thanks for feeding my resolve! Yes, I'm using you.

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,

Your quit bro,

Zep : )

Joel - Oct 05, 2000

Good article Zep. I agree whole-heartedly, facing your biggest obstacles makes you realize your ability to face smaller ones. It takes out a major anxiety factor of not smoking. The most important trick is to go into these situations being mentally prepared for anything. It will generally turn out much easier and better than you think.

While I always tell people that everything they do as smokers, they can do without smoking, they will often find that there are some things that they no longer choose to do once quitting. Sitting in a smoke-filled room is one of them. While it is in their ability to do so, without relapsing I should add, it still can become so uncomfortable, irritating, or in some cases, where somebody has preexisting conditions such as asthma, emphysema or a heart condition, downright dangerous, that no matter what the social factors involved, the ex-smoker realizes it is not worth it.

Sometimes it is not only the smoke that is an annoying factor. Sometimes the environment that you have to be in to smoke is its own challenge. This is seen commonly in the case where the only smoking section is outdoors, and outdoors is currently a subzero climate.

As I said, everything you do as a smoker, you can do as an ex-smoker. But common sense will tell you it is not worth it. While everything you can do as a smoker you can do as an ex-smoker is a true statement, the reverse does not always apply. I could probably come up with a long list of things here that don't work for smokers as they do for ex-smokers, but I am going to leave it at one. Sometimes you can breathe air so that your heart can pump and you can live another minute as an ex-smoker. Over 400,000 Americans smokers lose that ability every day.

Thanks for sharing Zep and starting a topic that should be near and dear to everyone's heart (and lungs, and brain, and a whole bunch of other organs which smoking can slowly destroy).

Joel

eagle66 - Oct 05, 2000

Thanks to both of you for your timely articles. I have a function to go to on Sat. night and have dreaded it all week. I can't get out of going but we will be sitting at a table with smokers. I have spent this week telling myself I can do this and get through the evening. Maybe it won't be as bad as I have dreaded! But if it gets too bad, I'll walk outside and take some deep breaths. I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eagle66

One week, four days, 9 hours, 37 minutes and 27 seconds. 228 cigarettes not smoked, saving $31.35. Life saved: 19 hours, 0 minutes.

Nora (Gold) - Oct 05, 2000

Thanks Zep for starting this thread. Great article. I was just telling my daughter-in-law last night that it didn't bother me to be around smokers. They will be coming in later this month. I was afraid she would stay at home since I had quit smoking. I have been around smokers several times now and it hasn't bothered me so far. I will be on guard for when she smokes in my house. No one has smoked in it yet since I quit.

Nora

fitz p - Oct 06, 2000

I just have to say that my experience around smokers has been a total gross-out. I find their actions, the deep sucking down, the squinting, the coughing, the squashing of the butts to repulse me totally. And the smell, UGH!!!! And I stink after being with them for a few minutes!!! I can't believe I ever lived that life. I pray I never relapse, I work at it every moment. I really hate to be around smokers at all, and my dear hubby smokes, as well as both my daughters.

Fitz

Two months, one day, 22 hours, 10 minutes and 38 seconds. 943 cigarettes not smoked, saving $141.58. Life saved: 3 days, 6 hours, 35 minutes.

GrumpyOMrsS (Gold) - Oct 06, 2000

Good question......before I quit smoking, I had trouble being around smokers....and smoking....could not tolerate the smell or the look.

Now that I've quit, I am with Fitz 100%. Every time I see someone in passing with a cigarette.....I am completely and totally repulsed by the look and every time a smoker comes near me....the smell of tobacco on them makes me want to choke....literally....the smell throws me into an asthmatic attack. Luckily there are only 2 people I know that smoke....my daughter who will not smoke in front of me or bring cigarettes over when she comes to visit and my son-in-law who lives in another city and is a closet smoker. That's it. All other family and friends do NOT smoke. My husband and I were the last to give it up.

I do come into contact with people who smoke because they are customers of mine in the drugstore I work in. I cannot get within 5 feet of them and that is while they are not actively smoking. While I do not hate these people for smoking or look down at them, I feel sorry for them for not really realizing what they are doing themselves and remember that I too, stood in their shoes. And then I think to myself, boy, am I glad I quit!

Linda.....After smoking for 41 years...I have been smoke-free for nine monthS, two dayS, 11 hourS, 17 minuteS and 32 secondS. 5529 cigaretteS not smoked, saving $829.29.

Roswitha - Oct 06, 2000

Thanks Zep and Joel,

I am back at work where everybody smokes around me. They wanted me back and the money is to good to say no. I have been out to dinner lots of times. It was difficult the first two times but now I don`t even think about it.

It is amazing to me. I can go out have two drinks with dinner and not even think of cigarettes. I do have to say, I have never been a heavy drinker, but I notice not smoking and alcohol don`t mix. I just don't like drinking alcohol at all now. I can go just as well without it.

The job situation is a bit of a problem. I have a very difficult time being around smoke now. It gives me a sore throat and it messes up my sinuses. And I don`t want to say anything to anybody because they're going to say I am a bad ex-smoker.

We have a new girl at work. She is 34 years old and had one of her lungs removed a year ago. I asked her if she needed help to stop smoking and she said her doctor said that her other lung was fine, and smoking did not affect this lung. I ask her why she would take a risk like this with only having one lung left. She said smoking is her only pleasure in life, that if I had a life like she had I would understand. She has two little children at home. Well, I rested my case because I remember saying something very similar before.

Thank you very much for helping me to stop smoking.

Roswitha

One month, one week, six days, 22 hours, 42 minutes and 53 seconds. 1797 cigarettes not smoked, saving $314.62. Life saved: 6 days, 5 hours, 45 minutes.

PrintedBumblebee - Oct 07, 2000

I find it hard being around smokers but I try not to think about it. But I tell you, Ii can smell smokers a mile away. lol

Bolko J - Oct 07, 2000

Well, so far I don't have too much experience of having direct contact with smokers yet. Jola quit 13 days before I did. My neighbors are natural-born non-smokers. The only contact with smokers I have is at work while walking through smoking areas. The first few days I was trying to use a detour. But after that, I started to express my pride for being a quitter. Every time I'm walking through smoking areas I'm showing on my fingers how many weeks I'm smoke-free.

I'm stopping often to tell those guys how happy I am as an ex-smoker, how good I feel, and so on. Most of the guys are really considering quitting but ... they're acting exactly as I did before I joined Freedom: yeah, it's good to quit but ... do I have to make a decision right now? etc. I keep saying: the decision is up to you, but if you are seriously considering quitting - go to: WhyQuit.com. I printed several posters with WhyQuit's website address. Last Saturday I gave it to a gas station attendant who kept a cigarette in his mouth all the time. Today I gave it to a grocery store clerk on her smoke-break.

On October 25th we're going to Detroit to see our great-granddaughter for the very first time (she was born on September 14th, 2000) and I'm a little bit anxious to stay with our daughter and our son-in-law for almost 5 days. Of course, they're smoking outside, but after they'll come back they'll smell and, of course, we will have a few drinks. I hope, everything will be just fine and I will not relapse. I'm not worrying about Jola, she is very strong.

Geo (Gold) - Oct 08, 2000

Great article Zep! My nose helps me to handle being around smokers. I really notice how bad cigarettes stink and that helps me to keep my no-smoking promise. I have rewarded myself with great-smelling candles and incense. Thanks, Geo

L A - Oct 08, 2000

You think that stinks, try sniffing plumbers that smoke, Ack,Ack.

elec7 - Oct 09, 2000

Great question. Well I never realized how bad smokers smelled having smoked for 46 years. I am really embarrassed to think that I put other people through that. When I smell a cigarette, the last thing I want to do is smoke. It reminds me of all the coughing, hacking and wheezing I used to do every day. No thank you. I think I will just keep things the way they are and never puff again...Ed

After 46 years proud to be nicotine-free for one month, three weeks, two days, 13 hours, 50 minutes and 41 seconds. 1364 cigarettes not smoked, saving $311.77. Life saved: 4 days, 17 hours, 40 minutes.

Prettygirl - Oct 10, 2000

Interesting thoughts from everyone. I'm a very new non-smoker (four days) and my boyfriend smokes a pack a day. I'd always used him as an excuse why I couldn't give up. But now I realize that it doesn't really matter what he does; it's MY body I'm responsible for. And if I have a strong enough "want" to be healthy and smoke-free, not even him lighting up and blowing smoke in my face is going to sway me to have one.

I think that "want" is strong enough this time. He smoked in the car on the way to the city the other day and I had to wind my window down all the way - not because it made me want one, but because it made me sick.

Now, he's started cutting down too - writing down on his packet how many he's had and trying to "beat" his previous day's tally by lowering the score. I'm so proud of him. But it took me to set the ball rolling. A good example is really worth a thousand hours of nagging!

PS Girls: I find what helps me when I'm out drinking (granted, it's only been once!), is seeing all the pretty non-smokers around and thinking you're one of them now. You're much more attractive without a butt hanging from your lips.

Dionne (gold) - Oct 21, 2000

With a still smoking husband, I'm getting used to being around tobacco. It does not make me want to smoke as I know I can never have another puff. Once you make that determination, the rest seems easy. Joel and the rest of you have beat me over the head with that statement and I believe it so it's a no-brainer. Let the world smoke around me, I won't be joining in (I would not want to go through the last 12 days again. It's starting to be really easy and downright pleasant to be a non-smoker). All you new beginners, press on to victory and Zep's motto, breathe deep, hug hard, and live long. (I'm not sure I got that right but you get the picture!)

Hugs to you all,

"I'll never take another puff Dionne"

One week, five days, 15 hours, 52 minutes and 1 second. 126 cigarettes not smoked, saving $18.99. Life saved: 10 hours, 30 minutes.

John (Gold) - Nov 24, 2000

What strikes me from the responses is how many of our family members are standing up in the face of loved ones who smoke and are simply saying "it's over! I'll never take another puff!" Wow! That's powerful! In my mind, folks who quit while having spouses that smoke, like Nora and Deb, are very strong-willed people who can probably achieve any goal to which they put their minds. Next to them, I feel like I cheated.

The second thing that strikes me is how quickly we change or view of smokers. I know that we don't like the smell but I pray that we never forget that we were once them. Bolko, what you're doing is awesome!!! You're a teacher, just like most of us! As much as they smell, our brother and sister smokers need our warm hugs! Bolko's quit week fingers are loving hugs reaching out with the promise of a better tomorrow, and I'm sure inside they're loving it. As smokers, we hated being preached to. We knew that we were addicts and the last thing we wanted was someone telling us to do something that we ourselves didn't think possible - quitting. Bolko isn't telling his co-workers to quit, he's showing them how to quit.

Carroll, my bestest old bar buddy, emailed me two days ago and said, "John! Where are you?? The guys are all wondering if you're ok!!!" I have not gone into my old pub (or had a drink for that matter - my new health kick ) since May 15, 2000, the first anniversary of my Quit. I emailed Carroll back and told him that I was just fine and that he could either come by the house or visit me at Freedom via WhyQuit.com. I'm still hoping a few of the guys drift in here but most are much older than I. I think that some gave up all hope of ever quitting many many years ago. I wish I knew how to reach them. I'm working on it.

R b rt - Nov 24, 2000

Hey ZEP ... yes I had a close call today (as in thread CAUGHT OFF GUARD!), but you know - I feel stronger after that ... It was really close ... you know the old "...aw - just one!" thinking ...

But I thought about Freedom, I thought about the stuff I have read ... I thought about my quit meter ... I thought about all the friends I have here and - HOW COULD I EVER COME BACK HERE if I smoked!?! ( I would have to go back behind ED and his elephants in the parade!!!) LOL But truly, I thought about all that ... and as I talked to my niece about you all ... I felt better ... I am going to send her Freedom's link and hope I can dump a watermelon on HER head as she reaches her milestones! okay?

However, I do feel stronger from this experience ... and I "KNOW" I will encounter more in my new smoke-free life ... but I am better prepared! I can see what you mean when you say that complacency has no place in a QUIT!!!

Okay --- I am off my soapbox ... goodnight!
- robert -
STILL SMOKEFREE ...

laguna - Nov 24, 2000

When I was a smoker I hated being treated as trash, because I am not! Smoking may be a weakness but I never felt like a second-class person just because I smoked. I smoked and enjoyed it, it was my body, my decision. I am 44 years old and in my whole life, I seriously decided to quit only once (other than a stupid effort last year, with a pack of Marlboro in my pocket for emergencies, naturally that quit lasted just 3 days!).

I quit 12 weeks ago and I am still quit. I believe quitting is in one's mind. Just because we quit we cannot expect the world to whirl around us. Yes, it would be a perfect world if no one smoked, and yes, if we all keep trying we may help a lot of people quit. But for me, my friendships are too valuable to ruin just because of a cigarette. I have friends who are smokers and non-smokers. They all have a special place in my heart and this will never change just because they smoke.

Quitting was my own decision and I cannot hold anyone responsible for my actions. I faced the reality from the first day on, and learned to live in this world in peace both with smokers and non-smokers.

I never stopped seeing my friends who smoke. Some of them chose not to smoke beside me, some smoke like chimneys, but I have kept my quit. If we want to succeed, we simply do. If we are looking for excuses to go back, we can find many excuses. I may be sounding too tough but my motto is "just don't smoke" and I am determined to stick to it.

I am hoping that friends who smoke will quit seeing me stay quit. I was a chain-smoker for 25 years. They all know that of I could do it they can too. Three of them already told me they are thinking of setting a date to quit. If I can have a positive effect on them I will be happy.

I wish you all a happy life with lots of friends :)   Happy Thanksgiving!

laguna

Jelly - Nov 24, 2000

Ahhhh, hubby is a heavy smoker, work has a smoking section, friends that smoke, sisters that smoke. Many many times, for years, I did not make a serious attempt at a quit, because it just seemed to impossible. Now I still have a lot of trouble seeing people smoke. On days that my husband and I are both home, I spend a lot of time in the smoke-free (or as much as possible) computer/sewing room. I have trouble seeing the ashtray and as soon as he goes to bed I empty it and then dump water over it.

Today....of all days, I am so thankful that I do NOT smoke....... a one-hour drive in a truck with a hubby and 3 cigarettes was a test, and I was prepared, with 4 bottles of ice water, and I passed. At his mom's, hubby would go outside for smokes, we had done this the past two years. When he came back in the house, he would walk through the kitchen, down the hall to put his coat away, back through the hall, into the living room.....and past me to get to the chair. I really could have been slapped in the face by an angry grizzly bear and it would have not hit me any harder than the smell when my hubby went by. Dang....and to think that was me for 30 years. NEVER never again!

Shelly
day 3

Sheila - Nov 24, 2000

Iaguna,

Thank you so much I really needed to hear your response to this question. So many ex-smokers seem to be discarding friends as if they were cigarettes. That could never work for me. I value people too highly to discard them. There were many non and ex-smokers who loved and accepted me for years (my husband to name one very important one).

I smoked in people's houses, I smoked in people's faces and cars and... etc. etc....I'm not going to pretend I didn't and at the time I had no choice, I was a slave to my addiction and that was priority number one. I know someone is going to respond that maybe if my loved ones hadn't been so accepting and forgiving I may have quit sooner but I know I wouldn't have. First this addiction is too strong to have been ordered away by anyone and second, that is when I was in the avoiding people mode, friends or family members who I knew were going to hassle me about smoking were the ones I (or should I say my addiction) avoided.

My smoking is my responsibility, my friends are my friends for reasons that have nothing whatsoever with cigarettes. The best I can do for them and myself is to take responsibility, love them, understand their trap, and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!!

Sheila

Deb - Dec 30, 2000

Thank you for posting this. I have been thinking about this very issue. And was touched that you feel I could handle anything. Well, I try my best. Anyway, I know that I am strong in my quit. I have no doubt that the issue is settled. I'm an addict but have found Freedom and plan on holding onto it with everything that is within me. I share this because I don't want you to think I'm in trouble. But I've been dealing with thought. Otherwise known as "stinkin thinkin." or "junkie thinking". Either way, it's no fun. Let me explain.

It isn't always easy to be around or live with someone who smokes when you've quit. The triggers I used to have, have lessened in number and severity. I'm much stronger and ready to go online and encourage anyone I can. But what makes me feel bad is the guilt I feel when I have a thought about a killerette. I know the thought didn't cause me to give up on my quit but I feel like I have lost something. Anyway, after the thought, I just get busy doing something else and the thought goes away. I guess my question is, is this normal? And if so how long before it goes away?

I've read some who so they no longer have any thought about killerettes. To them, they are a foreign subject. It's like having the mind of a child that has never heard of a cigarette much less what one looked like or what to do with it. Is it really possible to get to this point? Or could my constant surroundings of my husband's habit be affecting me to somehow not receive total Freedom? I also want you to know that I know a thought can't hurt you but what can is what you do with the thought. Awaiting your answer.

clown065 - Dec 30, 2000

I am fortunate or rather unfortunate (not sure), but since day one I have been surrounded by smokers at my workplace. Now I don't even think when people smoke around me. Sadly, it is the norm here in Hong Kong. I just try to avoid as much second-hand smoke as I can.

One thing very important, although, is to see the other side of smoking. This you can do when you are surrounded by smokers. Their coughing, their poor health, and lack of energy, to see them now still lighting up and knowing that each and every one of them would really like to quit, just reinforces my determination to stay quit.

John

Four months, two weeks, four days, 14 hours, 23 minutes and 49 seconds. 2811 cigarettes not smoked, saving $4,217.98. Life saved: 1 week, 2 days, 18 hours, 15 minutes.

Joel - Dec 30, 2000

Hello Deb:

I wrote a reply to you under the string "The Urge Hits." I think it addresses your issue. It sounds like you feel guilty that you still get the thought for cigarettes. Don't let that discourage you and don't feel guilty about them either. We are all human, we can't always control our thoughts, what is important is that we control our actions. This is true in all walks of life, but in addiction it has literal life and death ramifications. Anyway, read my post to you and the original article under the string mentioned above.

Joel

pheonix(SILVER) - Apr 02, 2001

When I'm with a smoker I think of people I loved that I watched die because they smoked. I refuse to do that to my children or myself. Sometimes now I leave and just cry, I go into the feeling all the way, I will never take another puff. Yes, I do say things to people who smoke, and no, I am not gentle. In fact, maybe I drive them nuts. I am going to make up some cards that say, when you are ready for freedom please go to whyquit.com. Then I won't have to say so much. I can bite my tongue and pray they come here. That's my 2 cents worth.

mirigirl (silver) - Apr 02, 2001

Hey Phoenix - I love the idea about the cards!!

"When you are ready for Freedom....... you can try whyquit.com"

It would save me going into (what people think is) a lecture - the minute you start talking about smoking! That's how I used to think anyway.. I'd just switch off because I knew (??!!) I couldn't stop!! (Amazing what some honest education and support can do!!)

Since I've quit, I've got into saying ... "well you can go to this website/ you don't have to stop straight away/you can just read..... and when you're ready ...... etcetcetc." It all seemed a bit longwinded...when next time someone asks me how I stopped smoking.... I could just give them a card!! And a ! Then it's up to them!!

For someone who has been through some tuff times Phoenix - you are full of great ideas! Must be making you stronger!! Hopefully me too!!

Actually, I could really get creative here..... How about: "When you are ready for Freedom....... you can try whyquit.com"

on one side, and

"NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!"

I better stop!!

yqs Maz

Two months, one week, five days, 14 hours, 15 minutes and 4 seconds of FREEDOM!! 1789 cigarettes not smoked, saving $572.75. Life saved: 6 days, 5 hours, 5 minutes.

Sewquilts (GOLD) - Apr 21, 2001

After reading this thread I have decided that I'm too new at my quit to have the strength or experience with the craves to sit on a break with my friends who smoke. With all my other quits, I relapsed while on break with said friends. I don't want to be tempted before I'm ready for it. I'll wait.

Thanks Again.

Kim (SewQuilts)

5 days, 23 hours, 53 mins 10 sec. since I used nicotine.

John (Gold) - Apr 21, 2001

You know what's best for you Kim. Trust your judgment !! Just don't wait too long and when you do, don't stay but a few minutes or until your triggered crave arrives, and then do what I did a couple of times (run like h_ll). I'm embarrassed to admit that I waited 22 months before touching my first cigarette. I wouldn't even pick up cigarette butts that folks had thrown in the street, it was terrible. Talk about a phobia! I knew that someday I'd have to but I put it off far longer than I should have. There is nothing that you need to give up but your nicotine, absolutely nothing!

hannes (gold) - Apr 21, 2001

At 3 months of freedom, I should be stronger about this subject but I still do not want to be around smokers for fear of relapse & also because I have had enough of the poison - nicotine. I have failed in my previous attempts because I thought that I could handle being around smokers - THAT WAS A BIG MISTAKE - this time I go by the laws of addiction - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF & right now I avoid all smoking situations - Hannes @ 3m of fresh air freedom. NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF & TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME.

John (Gold) - Apr 21, 2001

You sound like me, Hannes! I don't go into the pub at the end of the day with the guys anymore but only because I've punished these lungs for far too long to ask them to endure the cloud of second-hand smoke that lives inside. I spoke with one of the guys at length by phone today and I tried explaining but I really don't think he understands. I promised to drop in once next week but I already know that I won't be staying long. I love them to death but I'm putting my air first. Hopefully, they'll drop by and we can spend time together away from the cloud.

marty (gold) - Jun 01, 2001

When I first quit, I was determined not to become an evangelist, one of those people that I had (until the day before) always hated. You know, "the worst ones are the ex-smokers," people who stuck their aggressive newfound purity right in your face. And I also used to feel that to preach quitting to others was hypocritical.

So when I quit, I told no one, and inevitably I couldn't avoid friends or work colleagues who were smokers. In fact, I never regretted that because being with smokers, watching them smoke, and smelling smoke never had any effect on me. It was entirely neutral. I didn't like or dislike it. It certainly never made me want to smoke, and often I hardly noticed it was happening.

About a month into my quit, after I told people I had quit, many people would then ask me if I minded them smoking. I have to admit that I got a kick out of casually telling them it was no problem for me. After 3 months (when I started to get an education here) I then used to add "but it sure is a problem for you." If they asked why, I quietly turned into the once-hated evangelist.

The biggest change took place at 4 months. I remember it started when I experienced an extraordinary 24 hours when all the benefits of my quit came together and hit me in the face. I made a post about it here. Since that day, I have started to worry about people I see smoking, worry about their health and their sanity. I have big-time problems seeing young people and friends smoke. Now, for the first time since I quit, I tell people I'd rather they didn't smoke. I've always been squeamish (I cannot watch TV programs showing operations and so on) and I am now squeamish about smoking. I get mental pictures of their lungs, I get a vision of the person looking like Bryan Adams, and so on.

None of this threatens my quit. That is mine alone to have and to hold. But it has created a whole new feeling of discomfort, and sometimes agony, that I will now have to learn to live with.

John (Gold) - Jun 01, 2001

I think it's a phase that most of us go through Marty. My own quit pride was initially far greater than my concern about the harm to other smokers too. But, as I slowly grew to deeply believe that any smoker who desires to quit can quit, I began to feel guilty for passing them by without offering any hope at all. I'd done nothing. I knew the path to glory and I'd kept it to myself.

Would they live another year? I had no idea. So what if they get upset with me for reaching out, so what if they've never laid eyes on me before, so what if I interrupt their life for a few seconds to hand them a key, so what if they forget how to find us, the message has been delivered - there is "hope." Can you imagine Joel walking up to a group of smokers standing outside a door like the one above? I'd love to be a fly on that wall.

marty (gold) - Jun 01, 2001

Fly on the wall? You could sell tickets. LOL

John (Gold) - Jun 01, 2001

Wouldn't it be fun for a group of Freedom Oldbies to get together and gang up (in a very loving way) on a few hundred of our brother and sister smokers? What would it be like for them? Their jaw would probably drop to somewhere down around their ankles. It would be fun working as a team - sort of like taking "Freedom" on the road! We could visit each major city in the world for just a weekend. I can see us now.

Keilit (Gold ) - Jun 01, 2001

I'm going to reply to this thread because I've had to handle being around smokers since day 1 of my quit. Because of this, I've thought a lot about the temptations this poses, as well as what I can learn from still-smokers. First of all, I call them still-smokers because I hope that one day they will all quit. And yes, I've become one of those rude, aggressive ex-smokers that bother everyone while they are just trying to get their nicotine fixes. But I can't help it.

My step-father is a smoker, he's smoked since he was 14 - he's now 60. Currently, I live with this man. I can honestly say I've never been tempted to relapse when I've been around him. I think it's because of his age, but I can so clearly see what his addiction is costing him. He hacks when he lights up, and his face is covered with blackheads probably due to all the soot from his smokes. He has HUGE bags under his eyes, he can't sleep a whole 8 hours without getting up to smoke. I've pasted the web address for the WhyQuit site to the computer. Beyond that, all I can do is pray that he will try to quit one day soon.

However, with my friends, all of whom smoke, I have been very tempted. They all have kids around the age of my daughter and our usual routine is to get together for a play date and sit outside while watching our kids run around.

I waited until after my 72 hours to hang out with them. I knew I had to face it quickly though or both my daughter and I would feel isolated and lonely. The first play date was the hardest but I came prepared. I read everything in Joel's library on watching smokers. I also brought a two-pound bag of carrots and a HUGE jug of cranberry juice. The urges came fast and furious, and there were two times that I had to go inside and cry. But I made it through and it's never been so tough since. Now I watch them smoke, and you know what? I don't see them enjoying themselves at all. I see addicts who are under the control of the "nicodemon" and it scares me that I was once one of them.

Yes, they have all offered me a smoke, especially in the beginning. But now they have realized I've broken free of the chains that hold them still. I think it's embarrassing for them to see me, cool and calm in the face of a past addiction-one that they still haven't beaten. As far as touching cigs go. I've done that too. The first time I was shocked by the feel of a cig in my hands, I had never noticed how smooth they are or how hard they feel. When I was still smoking I never had the energy to notice things like that. All I had time for was quickly lighting up so I can get my fix of nicotine. I remember many a time when my hands shook so hard I couldn't lit the smoke myself and had to get a friend too.

Now I'm like that recent commercial against smoking pot. I sit in a circle of my friends and I can pass their drug of choice around but I don't have to join in and that's fine by them. And it makes me feel TERRIFIC! Sometimes I see one of them staring at me and I hope that soon they will find the strength to quit as well.

Alright, I can hear some of you saying "but what do you do with your hands?" Well, I felt awkward just sitting there doing nothing except changing oxygen into carbon monoxide so I started bringing out my cross stitch with me. I sit there and cross-stitch and snack; and talk to my friends. The last two times we've gotten together (and let me tell you, it's almost a daily occurrence for us) I haven't even had one urge to smoke.

The only thing I've noticed is that the smoke stuffs up my nose and I'm constantly blowing it the next day. I've also noticed that the smell of a cigarette still smells nice to me. But I also learned here at Freedom that they are supposed to, they have tons of things in them to make them smell nice. So I no longer feel guilty about that. After all, I enjoy the smell of coffee but that doesn't mean I'll ever drink it.

So ya'll, here's my book on this thread. Now I have to go back to packing the car. (ugh!)

YQS Keilit

Four weeks, one day, 17 hours, 51 minutes and 0 seconds. 297 cigarettes not smoked, saving $63.21. Life saved: 1 day, 45 minutes.

Kalie - Jun 02, 2001

When I'm confronted with smokers I tend to feel sorry for them ... quitting was my decision, and I hated the way I felt when I smoked....especially because I always knew that I had to quit or it would kill me. I could be them, puffing my way to death if I so chose ... I choose not too ...

Kalie

1w 3d 15:42 smoke-free, 374 cigs not smoked, $93.50 saved, 1d 7:10 life saved

Dida (Gold) - Jun 02, 2001

Good question/thread. Most of the time I notice if a person is smoking around me but from time to time it's weird but I haven't actually noticed that another person has been smoking and I only think about it a lot later. When I first quit I did not want to be around other smokers although' my partner was smoking at the time. I got more used to them because John was smoking and I never found the "way" that he smoked very appealing/attractive.

Two very close friends of mine have always been instrumental in me not being able to keep a quit because I've always socialized with them in that context. However, since I've come to Freedom, I have discovered that I have more intestinal fortitude with them especially and their smoking hasn't really bothered me at all. As it happens, I have mentioned this website to both of them in the hopes that they, too will find their way here and try not to be a huge pain in the butt (!!!) so I won't turn them off the idea.

Attraction rather than promotion is how I'm handling it. However, I am not really keen on the idea of going into a bar that has a lot of smokers in it and it's not because I'll get into a crave situation it's that they are beginning to look really disgusting and dirty to me and I don't want to be hacking and coughing in the morning. Not really worth it - rather go to the movies.

Diana

Have not smoked for 2 months, 3 days, 1 hour

John (Gold) - Jul 30, 2001

How do I handle being around smokers?

I invite them to Freedom!

zoo - Aug 10, 2001

The bar scene and getting a little tipsy or a lot tipsy is what killed a few good quits for me in the past (2 1/2 months on one of them). I have learned now how to stay away from those situations. Having a few drinks around a bunch of smokers can spell disaster for your quit.

3weeks 1 day nic free

zoo

John (Gold) - Sep 20, 2001

Walking Among the Addicted

Nicotine addiction has taken a tremendous toll on humanity. It knows no boundaries and does not discriminate on the basis of age, sex, religion, health status or skin complexion. Regardless of the nation which we call home, we each must learn to remain comfortable as we walk among the addicted and watch them engage in public nicotine feedings.

The World Health Organization's national cigarette per capita consumption figures are calculated by dividing the total number of cigarettes sold in a nation by the total number of adults age 15 and older. They're very telling because they reveal the actual density of cigarettes being consumed daily in each country. Let's look at a few examples:

Average Number of Cigarettes Smoked Per Adult Per Year

Imagine getting medical advice on quitting while living in Greece where 50% of all male doctors/physicians in the entire country are addicted to nicotine. I'd love to be a fly on the wall.

Regardless of where we live and how many times a day we're faced with watching a smoker publically elevate their falling blood nicotine level, we can continue to stand tall and proud! That isn't us anymore. We are the masters of our minds!

It's ok to notice them, it doesn't hurt a bit, but continue to see them for what they truly are, captives of an endless cycle of rising and falling serum blood nicotine levels who are trying their very best to blend into society while engaged in publically feeding their addiction. We would have to be blind not to notice them.

Don't allow the fact that you do notice them make you think that you're doing something wrong. You're not! We all notice them. After a lifetime of addiction, ourselves, it's normal and it doesn't mean that we're having a "crave" or even a "thought" about smoking - they're simply there and we each have eyes.

Each year there will be fewer and fewer public buildings in which nicotine addicts can legally light a fire between their lips. Each year we'll see more and more smokers forced out into the streets as they smoke while standing around outside buildings, walking, or driving cars. They're not there to tease us - LOL (stands for laugh out loud)! They're there because they only have two choices - feed the beast or endure withdrawal.

When you see a smoker, keep in mind that surveys show that over 70% of them don't want to smoke that next cigarette - they want to be like you but they don't know how. Failure upon failure, they now close their minds at the mere mention of quitting while inside clinging to the hope that maybe someday soon they'll manage to break free.

Vee GOLD - Sep 20, 2001

The first time I had to be around smokers was on the 3rd day of my quit. I did not "smell" the smoke but I saw the attendees of a seminar out on a patio during a break. I stood at the glass and watched them and started crying feeling as if I had lost my best friend. Thank goodness for Joel's article that I happened to stumble on that night. Now, one month into my quit it really doesn't bother me. I can watch and smell - I just know I can never take another puff. I am starting to become one of those dreaded "reformed smoker evangelists."

Kind of funny reading your statistic on Greece, John. It is soooo true. I lived in Greece for 3 years in the mid '80s. If you went to a restaurant, it was not uncommon for the waiter to have a cigarette dangling from his mouth as he took your order. I had a girlfriend that had a baby in the hospital in Athens and the Dr. came in the room with a big puff of smoke trailing behind him. He also, when finished with his cigarette, crushed it out on the floor with his shoe. Seems nasty now but back then all I thought was "cool you can smoke in the hospitals here!" I am now glad that I don't have to try and attempt a quit living there!!

vee

Liv (green) - Sep 21, 2001

My advice: Move to California!!! The fact that you are not allowed to smoke ANYWHERE (not even in bars) bothered me a lot at first, but when I realized that it made me smoke less I didn't complain too much. NOW I'm just so thankful! I'm only faced with other smokers when I walk down the street and that has so far been manageable. (Plus I still have a pretty bad cold which I believe has helped through my first 95 hours of being smoke-free! Hey: Whatever works, right?)

My boyfriend is back from Holland and although I've missed him and look forward to seeing him again, I wonder how hard it will be for me: He's a smoker. But maybe he'll be inspired and smoke less around me, and maybe he'll even consider quitting too! I guess that's how I should look at it, and not worry so much beforehand!

We just have to remain strong and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!!

Hugs,

Liv~

REEN (NIKKI66) - Feb 04, 2002

So far I haven't challenged a smoking-related get-together. I have avoided it completely. How proud and strong-minded you must have felt. I will bookmark this so when I need to go somewhere, into a crowded smoke-filled room, I will have extra ammo before I leave.

Thanks again

Nikki

John (Gold) - Feb 04,2002

See our brothers and sisters still in bondage for what they're truly doing!

They only have two choices:

1) smoke more nicotine and elevate their sagging blood serum nicotine level, which will in turn release new dopamine, or

2) experience the onset of early withdrawal

We had zillons of excuses - every addict does - but the truth is the truth. The nicotine half-life clock was our real boss (the amount of nicotine remaining in the blood is reduced by 50% every two hours).

murphying (Gold) - Apr 12, 2002

I can honestly say I no longer feel any desire to smoke - my last bad time was at almost 2 months quit when I was more or less forced to sit around in a smoke-filled room for some hours at a friend's wedding. I felt so bad and so desperately wanted to join in the smoking that I thought I must have ingested enough nicotine through sidestream smoke to generate a relapse. Joel did explain that it wasn't possible to do this and in the end, I figured I had an awful reaction to all the other chemicals I was exposed to - certainly felt very uncomfortable for a few days.

Since then I've been so easy with my quit - there are no triggers big enough to make me want to give up my new life - I'm just too comfortable here now and when I see somebody else smoking it holds no attraction for me any longer....thanks in a large measure to the education so readily available here at Freedom.

I know now that I'm an addict and always will be - this understanding is the biggest weapon I have against any thought of relapse!

yqs Ingrid

3 Months 1 Week 4 Days 35 Minutes 42 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 5051. Self-esteem 100%

Hillbilly(Gold) - May 20, 2002

This may be the wrong attitude, but it's the only one I have. I go out of my way NOT to be offended by smoking friends. Some of my more considerate friends will leave to go smoke, and I actively chastise them for this.

I never want to be a typical reformed smoker who constantly criticizes friends who are currently active addicts. That never worked for me, it only made me angry, and sometimes it made me smoke more.

It is still my opinion that everyone has the right to smoke, including me. I just choose not to. It's like one of Joel's articles says, smokers are not stupid, or criminal, just human.

I continue to seek out the smoking section outside a party or a bar where friends are smoking. It is a way for me to meet my demons head-on, which is just the way my personality works. I wouldn't advise it for everyone. You have to know yourself.

Besides that, I like the smell of a smoker lighting up. It doesn't make me want to smoke, it doesn't even make me want just one--I just find the smell pleasant. I don't find the odor of a smoker or a full ashtray pleasant, just the smell of lighting up. I have heard other people say the same thing, and I wonder if that will go away. It doesn't matter, I'm just curious.

Like I said, probably not the best attitude, but it's the only one I have, and it works for me. Please don't try this just because I recommended it, figure out what works best for you.

Dave

I have chosen not to smoke for 1 Month 1 Day 22 Hours 33 Minutes 26 Seconds. Somewhere there are 958 extra cigarettes.

Slycat - May 20, 2002

It really doesn't bother me to be around the smokers, but I do have a habit of asking them to blow their smoke in my direction or light up a cigarette near me so I can smell the smoke. But I will Not Take a Puff no matter what the craving. My craving is no greater or smaller when around smokers.

Most of these people I have hung out with for so long whether it is at work or in a bar, I am used to seeing them smoke. Although the last time I went to the bar I met this guy Paul who was hanging out with the other people I know. He had a hole in his throat and had previously had throat cancer due to smoking. Of course, he didn't smoke anymore which made me think to myself. I have never actually seen that before. Of course, his voice was missing too. But everybody around him just puffed away like nothing. Him on the other hand, of course, said Never Again!!!! I had to lean next to him when he talked because he whispered.

But after I saw the horrible withdrawal I had to go through I will never take another puff for that reason. I would never want to go through that again...

People around me who smoke on the other hand do not bother me. It's almost like a pleasure to have them smoke around me because I like the smell. I hope that one day I start to hate the smell and when I am around smokers it starts to bother me but for now, since I am still a newbie and almost Green Tomorrow, I can honestly say that it does not bother me now but whether I crave the cigarette or not around them I will not have one, even when I'm drinking alcohol.

Judy

Joel - May 20, 2002

For those still enjoying the smell of smoke. It is normally a minority of ex-smokers who continue to like the smell of smoke. The fact is these people can be around smokers and their quit can and will stay secure as long as they don't puff on a cigarette themselves. But as far as asking people to blow smoke your way, there is a philosophical question they should be asking themselves.

Do you want to give smokers the idea that you somehow miss smoking or that the smoker has something going really good for themselves? Keep in mind, these smokers can be looking at you as a person who used to be just like them--an out-of-control addicted smoker who has now quit and appreciates being smoke-free. But by asking them to blow smoke your way, you are giving them the perception that you have sacrificed something great in your life and maybe giving them the message that you somehow regret your quit. You may in fact be discouraging them from quitting.

So my advice to you, if these people are your family members or friends, or any people you actually care about, such requests while seeming harmless to you may in fact be hurting their chances of quitting. Do you really want to encourage these people to smoke? If they are people you don't care about this is probably no big deal--although do you even want strangers to be putting their life at risk in order to feed an addiction.

Your quit is for you though. This is a straight judgment call on your part. As I said before, you can be around such exposure without relapsing--but think very carefully of what kind of message you are sending others and also what you are thinking about smoking for yourself. If you still see cigarette smoke as a good thing, you could probably stand to read through The Palmolive Bottle Demonstration as well as the Smoking's Impact on the Lungs strings.

One more thing--while I say that secondhand smoke exposure will not cause a relapse--there can still be adverse health effects from such exposure. Don't think because you like the smell that this means the smoke is not hurting you. Hydrogen cyanide smells sweet--almost like almonds yet it is highly toxic and potentially lethal. Smells can be deceiving. See cigarettes for what they are and they will automatically stink to you--not only for how they smell but for what they do. Cigarette smoke kills people, lots of people and if given the opportunity will kill you. To avoid stinking up your life and messing up your health always remember why you committed to never take another puff!

Joel

Slycat - May 20, 2002

Hi Joel:

You are definitely addressing me.

You are right about giving the wrong message to my friends and family that smoke. I don't know why I still like the smell of smoke and want it to be blown my way. I do understand what you have said about the chemicals that draw me to the smell like hydrogen cyanide. I do not mean to give these people the wrong message yet I can not help but enjoy the smell. Fortunately for me, I do not smell smoke anywhere anymore except at my sister's house and the bar when I go there. This is not too often at all. Besides that, I live in a totally smoke-free atmosphere. Nobody in my family smokes except my sister and I do not see my friends that smoke unless I go to the bar.

So maybe because I am never around it I enjoy it when I am. I don't know why and I hope one day I begin to hate the smell.

Judy

Ryan(Gold) - Aug 01, 2002

Joel,

Thanks for another great reply. I completely agree with you. I personally can not stand the smell of smoke. It drives me crazy. I believe that the education I have received on this site (and other sites) has helped set my perspective, but to be completely honest with you I just can not stand it. I get so upset if I'm with people who like to smoke and they do not give me the opportunity to sit somewhere that is non-smoking. I remember during my initial few months, I didn't care. Now that I have been quit for well over a year and two months I don't want anything to do with it. It's not that I don't want to be around them because I'm afraid I'll start smoking again, I just do not want to be around the smoke. I respect smokers still, but they also have to respect me at the same time. The air on this Earth is free, but it is not free to me when someone else spoils it with smoke!!!!

I just wanted to unleash some of the frustrations that I have accumulated over the many months of not smoking and returning to my old self. As for you Dave, I bet with time you will not be able to stand the smell of smoke. But that is just my opinion with many months of experience.

Thanks for the great reply Joel. I'm with you 100% brother.

YQB,

Ryan

I have not smoked for one year, two months, two weeks, three days, 13 hours, 14 minutes and 3 seconds. 8871 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,552.43. Life saved: 4 weeks, 2 days, 19 hours, 15 minutes.

Lydia Gold - Oct 06, 2002

I wanted to comment on this one since it was a big issue for me, or at least I thought it was going to be. My spouse is still chain-smoking 3 packs a day and unfortunately for me, he isn't at all considerate of my quit. He smokes everywhere, in the tiny bathroom, in the compact car, and all over the house. My requests for him to please not smoke in the bathroom or in the car ( if it's just going to be a short ride) have fallen on totally deaf ears. I have the definite feeling in fact, that he wants me to fail.

I am currently on day 14 of my quit and the smell of a lit cigarette still smells really good, however, the stale smell of it permeating my entire home and car is now sickening to me. Kissing my chain-smoking honey is tantamount to licking the inside of an ashtray. But, seeing people smoke bothers me more than smelling it. Even the graphics of cigarettes here on this site have bothered me since I arrived. I almost made a post quoting the 72-hour policy:

"This might be a place where nicotine has no voice, but it sure has its face plastered all over the place" because the pictures of cigarettes and people inhaling cigarettes really bothered me. I have no choice but to watch it at home but sorta felt like I shouldn't have to here. I was expecting this to be a smoke-free zone. I still click away from those pictures pretty fast.

But nothing in regards to all this would ever affect my quit. I have already been tested numerous times. When I was on day 4 of my quit (still bad for me at that point) I was walking my dog when I thought I was seeing a mirage up ahead on the side of the road. I blinked hard and tried to remember if having hallucinations and seeing mirages on the horizon were a possible side effect of withdrawal. As I got closer I marveled at how real the little oasis was looking. It was a full pack of cigarettes in perfect condition, sitting right there in front of me. I reached out with my foot and gave it a little kick, just to make sure it was real. Sure enough, it was. Thank god it wasn't my brand or the little demon in me might have convinced me that it was an omen that I should be smoking again lol.

The second major test came on day 11. I had to drop Walt off at the dealer to pick up his car. We didn't even get out of the driveway before he had a butt in his mouth. To make matters worse, it was raining out so the window could only be cracked a little. Despite the fact that it was only a 30-minute drive, he refused to comply with my request to wait, and in fact, lit 2 more in the next 30 minutes.

So I got to pass the anger test as well as the being trapped in close quarters with a smoker test, both on the same day ... but it just gets better! I drop him off at the dealer and drive the 30 minutes home, letting go of the anger and indignation that his complete lack of respect had inspired in me, and pull in the driveway, look down to put the car in park and I am suddenly struck by indescribable horror. There, sitting on the console between the driver's seat and passenger's seat is Walt's open pack of cigarettes and his lighter.

I am all alone with a full pack of cigarettes and the lighter to set one ablaze and if I do it....no one will ever know. Those thoughts took far longer to write out here than they took to dissipate from my mind. It was just a nanosecond of thought really. I laughed at myself for even having felt something as strong as horror. I saw it as a loaded gun sitting on the console, and that is where the horror came from. But not one second later, I realized that a gun was all it was, it was only dangerous to me if I picked it up and put it to my own head.

I decided instead, that it was time to disarm the gun, take the bullets out of the chamber and render it harmless. I picked up the open pack (didn't want to leave it in my own car) and put it right up to my nose. I took a deep sniff of it. I'd like to say that it smelled bad, but it smelled both good and bad at the same time. I walked into the kitchen and threw the pack and lighter on the kitchen table, and that is the end of the story.

Still standing strong in the simple principle that I will never take another puff.

I have been Quit for: 1W 6D 12h 42m 12s. I have NOT smoked 405, for a savings of $111.62. Life Saved: 1D 9h 45m.

Lydia

chicjacks (silver) - Nov 12, 2002

I had a real test tonight. Had some girls over for dinner. I knew some of them smoked, so I was a little nervous about the evening. They know I quit smoking and the subject came up. I offered to put this website up for them while they were here. They said OH NO we aren't ready to quit yet!!! Anyway, I actually sat outside on the porch with them while they smoked. I thought they looked so stupid with the cig in their mouth. I am proud to say, I didn't want to smoke!!! I still smell smoke. Its amazing how sensitive my smell is now. Smoke stinks and makes my eyes burn. This website rocks!!!!

CHICJACKS______DOUBLE GREEN TODAY!!! Can't wait for BRONZE!!!!!

AidaSaba1 - Jul 12, 2004

I found that visualizing the truth helped me tremendously. When I got into a situation on the 4th of July celebration where I was around smokers, I honestly did not crave cigarettes. However, I felt that I missed the time that we used to sit and smoke together with a glass of wine. I don't know how to explain this any better. I really did not have a craving for a cigarette at all. It is the time I used to enjoy then, that I missed.

For a brief second, I thought I would love to sit and smoke with them. But then I started seeing matters as they really are. There is nasty smoke coming out of the mouths of these people like broken trucks that need a new exhaust. I visualized the black tar depositing on their lungs with every puff they take. I literally saw the dirty gases coming out from between their stained teeth. I saw bluish, greyish smoke escaping from their nostrils, while they hungrily took puff after puff as if clinging to their own demise. I truly felt so sorry for all of my friends who smoked. They were respectful to my quit and even asked me if it was ok to smoke around me. Guess what? I said, "yes you can smoke around me if you wish, but please try to quit. As for me I'll never take another puff". And that was it.

Aida

a healing nicotine addict, free for 4 weeks, one hour and 33 minutes. I saved $275.03 and added three quality days to my life by choosing not to smoke 982 cigarettes.

Eric Gold - Jan 08, 2005

This is kind of funny for me because when I first quit I was immediately around smokers. I work in a warehouse and for some reason, the company I work for allows smoking on the job. I thought that it was illegal to smoke indoors at work in Washington state, but I must be mistaken.

Anyway, I feel I do very well around smokers because when I made the decision to quit smoking I knew that I would be working around people all day who continued to smoke.

There were times in the beginning that were pretty difficult for me. Especially if I was having a bad day and things weren't going right on the job. I even put up a post talking about having a bad day and then watching someone smoke and I actually threw a fit! I'm talking about throwing things and doing walking laps around the warehouse, like 15 times. LOL, that is not me at all, but it was that day. I eventually calmed down and made it another day nicotine free.

Being around them at work nowadays is really no big deal. It's not a trigger for me anymore. If I have a bad day at work, smoking does not even cross my mind.

I do sometimes watch my co-workers smoke, but all I really think about is "Wow do they really want to smoke?" I see them light a cigarette without even thinking.

There would be days when I would look at my smoking co-workers with envy. There would be days that I would look at my nonsmoking co-workers with envy, but now It doesn't bother me either way.

Being around smokers for 40+ hours a week makes being around smokers anywhere else pretty much a cakewalk for me. Besides I choose to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF AGAIN!

Have a great nicotine-free night!

YQB,
ERIC

I have been quit for 6 Months, 17 hours, 58 minutes and 30 seconds (184 days). I have saved $1,039.20 by not smoking 5,542 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Weeks, 5 Days, 5 hours and 50 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 7/7/04

Annejoy4 - May 07, 2005

I love this thread and go back to it often. I too stayed away from smokers in the very beginning. The other day I took a class trip with my son into the city (NYC). I watched my smoking friends fidget in their seats the last ten minutes of the train ride. I knew what was going on. We couldn't get out to the street fast enough for them. They lit up immediately. Boy, do I remember. I am still having thoughts/ cravings but nothing like in the beginning, and I am enjoying not "having to smoke" like my smoking buddies. That in itself is worth the fight. During intermission as everyone ran out the door to get a fix, it was really nice to read the playbill and talk to the kids. I know that it is still a battle and I shall Never take another puff.

Thanks to everyone at Freedom I just love this sight

Anne Joy

Two weeks, three days, 44 minutes and 29 seconds. 408 cigarettes not smoked, saving $102.18. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 0 minutes.

joyousAnaisfree - May 08, 2005

Today, I've been with family I haven't seen in a while. They all smoke. They were concerned their smoking would make me uncomfortable in some way. I am convinced my not smoking made them more uncomfortable because I didn't feel bothered by it at all. They seemed very interested in not smoking "too much" and tried to keep away from me when they did. It didn't matter how many times I reassured them their smoking would not lead to my smoking again. They didn't seem too convinced. It wasn't something they could imagine being true.

If anything, I thought that while they could not imagine how I felt I very much knew how they were feeling and prefer how I feel a million times over.

Joanne Gold - Aug 19, 2005

How do I handle being with smokers?

Well, after 6 1/2 years of freedom....hmmm

I try to stay as polite as possible while consuming the unwanted aroma of burning tobacco. In the early days of my quit I would find myself staying away from smokers because I was disgusted to be bothered by the stench. The smell is aggravating to me but I try my best not to make others feel alienated. Of course, (when appropriate) I will steal the urge to share some good pointers on smoking cessation.

Mostly, I feel sorry for smokers. I have been there and understand the trap this addiction can have on us. It breaks my heart, and how I wish we could help everyone.

Joanne
6 1/2 years plus

nancy999 - Apr 22, 2006

Mentally: I refused to let "other" smokers influence me in any way. I had decided that NTAP means exactly that....regardless of what temptations were laid in front of me. I tried to be mindful of all the places and triggers that I KNEW I would face and planned to deal with them.

Physically, I was faced with this situation really before I had time to think about it. I was at a Flyers game (professional Ice Hockey) and we were supposed to meet some friends and before I knew it, my feet were in the ONLY smoking place in the building - the pub. Aside from it stinking, I embarced it as reinforcement. Because I had already decided that this is MY quit and because the world is filled with opportunities to relapse that I MUST CHOOSE TO IGNORE THEM.

Honestly, I felt bad for the other smokers and terribly embarrassed that it had been me at one time - nicotine addiction is such an ugly thing!

Nancy NTAP

Smoovasbird1 - Sep 01, 2006

AmAZING thread! I just loved it. My lungs don't deserve to be exposed to the filth that comes from being around smokers now that they are healing. I know I have the resolve to be around smokers and to NTAP, (and I can actually admit to feeling a little smug from time to time) knowing that they are so addicted - and haven't realized it yet! I hate the smell, the way it drained life from my skin - let alone my lungs! Now the healing has begun - today is the last day of my 1st month! Get through this (as I WILL) and I'm green!! I'm LOVIN it!! :-)

Just Hannes - May 26, 2007

There are people who admit they like the smell of second-hand smoke. I myself hate the smell. I told that to myself after a couple of weeks in my quit and I held on to it. I avoid secondhand smoke and if I can't avoid it I tell myself I hate the smell. This is kind of letting myself know I'm stubborn and never will take a puff again.

If you say it often enough you will believe yourself. Same as saying each day I hate the smell of baked eggs. If you say that to yourself 100 times per day you will hate the smell in a couple of weeks.

Attitude or mindplays to make my quit stronger.

Frits (5 months+)


Related Topics



Memorable Freedom Threads


Knowledge is a Quitting Method


An owl reading and studying by candlight.

Discover Smart Turkey



WhyQuit Joel's Library Turkeyville The Law

WhyQuit's small banner for linking

Original Freedom thread started 10/05/00. Page formatted 04/09/22 by John R. Polito