In Chapter 4 we reviewed common use rationalizations. We learned that Nicodemon does not exist. Nor are there any other internal monsters. Repeated use fathered dopamine pathway chemical dependence. Dependency combined use patterns, conditioning, sensations, and rationalizations to father a full-blown addiction.
We were reminded that nicotine is not a friend and using isn't about love, flavor, pleasure, boredom, concentration, making coffee taste better or stress reduction.
Such rationalizations insulated us from a harsh world that was often in our face and just wouldn't let up. They were bricks in a protective wall made thicker by each empty pack, cartridge, tin, pouch, tube, bottle or box. Our only wall building limitation in adding new bricks was our imagination.
Have you ever noticed just how challenging it is to coax a smoker or oral user out from behind their wall? Give it a try. It's one of life's greatest challenges.
After years and hundreds of additions, like a turtle drawing into its shell, it's a solid and secure place to hide from those seeking to impose their will upon us.
Dependency's protectors, during recovery the wall's bricks become the enemy.
Unchallenged, they provide super fuel for relapse. Especially here, during recovery's final phase, once no longer clouded or obscured by physical, emotional, or subconscious challenge.
Here, a simple sight, sound, or smell can awaken our use memory bank's collective influence. Its tease invites remaining use rationalizations to surface. Combining old use memories with a use justification can leave the new ex-user feeling overwhelmed and debating whether it's all worth it.
Rest assured and take heart. The peace and tranquility once addiction's chatter ends is worth thousands of times more than the price of admission.
Again, it's not necessary that any of us set out to intentionally dismantle our wall of denial. Time will eventually wear it down so long as -- just one hour, challenge and day at a time -- we keep our dependency under arrest.
But in that our wall simply reflects rationalizations that we ourselves created, we have it within us to rethink each, thus diminishing or even destroying their influence upon us.
Still, that's easier said than done. Why? Because each use justification is rooted in truth avoidance, the exact opposite of what's needed to let go of it.
"Just think about something else"
Our natural instinct is to try to ignore or suppress "junkie thinking" when it attempts to play inside our minds. "Just try to think about something else."
Research shows that attempts at thought suppression may actually have the reverse effect of causing the thought to intrude with greater frequency into our consciousness.[1]
Trying to think about something else often backfires making things worse. As my mentor Joel notes, the core of most internal debates likely involves fixation on the thought of having "just one," "one puff," or "one fix."
"It's hard to think about something else because one puff seems like such a wonderful concept. They are often reminiscing about one of the best cigarettes, or more accurately, about the sensation around one of the best fixes they ever had. It may be one they smoked 20 years earlier but that is the one they are focused on," notes Joel.
"So what about thinking about something else? Well, it's hard to think of something else that can deliver such pleasure as this magic memory," suggests Joel. "Even if they successfully think of something else and overcome that urge, they walk away from the moment with a sense of longing or sadness with what they have just been deprived of again."
Keep in mind that their "pleasure" and "magic memory" is likely associated with ending one of the most intense moments of wanting their addiction ever mustered.
So, what works instead? "Change the tactic," advises Joel. "Instead of trying (often unsuccessfully) to think of something else, acknowledge the desire.
Don't tell yourself that you don't want one, you do and you know it."
"But remember, there is a catch. To take the one you have to have all the others with it. And with the others, you have to take all the problems that go with 'them.' The smell, the expense, the embarrassment, social ostracization, the total loss of control, and the health implications."
Joel encourages us to see "just one" for the falsehood it reflects. By thinking about the entire spectrum of dependency that comes with "just one" we can walk away from the encounter feeling good about it. We won't feel deprived but grateful.
The more vividly and accurately we're able to recall full-blown dependency, the less we'll think about it. "In a sense forcing yourself to remember will help you forget," Joel notes. "Not forget using, but the fantasy, the appeal of a nicotine fix."[2]
As with this example of "just one" or "just once," instead of trying to run or hide from use rationalizations that enter your mind, grab each by the horns. And don't let go until you've turned it inside out.
Think about the enslaved mind that created it. How much did any of us then know about nicotine dependency?
Examine each rationalization in honest light. Do you recall where it came from? Is that how you felt the very first time you used nicotine? Does tobacco industry store flavor, pleasure, or adventure marketing play to it?
Would relapse somehow make the rationalization permanently go away, or instead guarantee its survival? Can you say with certainty that it's true and honest, or was it invented by a mind that needed justification for answering nicotine's next dinner bell?
Whether we choose to attempt to destroy rationalizations with honesty or wait for new non-use memories to bury them, the day is approaching when you'll awaken to an expectation of going your entire day without once wanting to use.
Oh, you'll still have thoughts now and then, but with decreasing frequency, shorter duration, and declining intensity. They'll become the exception, not the rule.
They say that "truth shall set us free." But there's an even better guarantee. It's impossible to lose our freedom so long as we refuse to allow nicotine back into our bodies.
The next few minutes are all that matter and each is entirely do-able. Thoughts or no thoughts, there was always only one rule ... no nicotine today, NONE (NO Nicotine Ever)!
More Lies
Chapter 4 reviewed 20 of the most common and most threatening use rationalizations. My aim was to provide an early hefty dose of protective truth to aid those starting home early.
Let's recall them while adding 33 more. But why? Because use justifications invaded nearly every aspect of our thinking. Unless willing to let go, we not only risk becoming a reluctant ex-user, down the road, they become complacency's seeds for relapse.
Letting go requires awareness that something is being retained. While we each invented our own unique list of use excuses, between Chapter 4 and here we'll hopefully touch on most.
It's my hope that the following additional examples provoke awareness of additional areas of use thinking in need of honest reflection.
As mentioned earlier, almost all conscious rationalizations fall into one of four categories: (1) dependency, (2) cost (3) recovery, or (4) relapse.
References:
2. Spitzer, J, Just think of somthing else., https://whyquit.com/joels-videos/just-think-of-something-else/," August 31, 2002.
All rights reserved
Published in the USA